A World of Hurt: Merlin
by SkiesAndStories
Summary: When an upcoming treaty meeting takes all Merlin's energy and the final blow is caused by Arthur, Merlin is in grave danger and Arthur is the only one capable of saving him. NO SLASH
1. My Friend

**So, my first fanfic story... I hope you guys like it! I mean to make this a compilation of all kinds of MerlinHurt fanfics, prompts are greatly appreciated. NO SLASH**

**The first one is an idea of my own and will be a two-shot:**

_My Friend_

He was exhausted. Arthur had been in a particular bad mood the last few days and made him work twice as hard, with no breaks whatsoever. And even when he got a few hours to rest, Gaius needed him to gather herbs for his potions. That wasn't Gaius fault, he didn't know the mood swings Arthur could endure every once in a while and he just needed the herbs to treat his patients. However, between Arthur, Gaius and his destiny (if only Arthur knew how many times he could have died this last week) Merlin hadn't slept for days. Merlin wiped his face and yawned for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. On top of all that, he hadn't had a proper meal for 3 days either. Because of all the work, he left his chambers before Gaius woke, so Gaius just presumed Merlin had eaten something and Arthur presumed Merlin had eaten breakfast with Gaius. Now he was running a quick errant for Gaius, but he had to stop and control his breath.

"Pull it together Merlin, it isn't even noon yet." He muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes a few times and continued his walk... only to be stopped by Gwaine and Lancelot a few moments later. The knights both eyed him curiously.

"Merlin, are you okay?" Gwaine asked.

"Yeah I'm fine Gwaine." Merlin tried to stifle a yawn, but his attempt failed miserably.

"Are you sure? You don't look fine." Lancelot said, worry obvious in his voice.

"Well thanks..." Merlin responded. "I'm fine guys, just a bad night. Why do you even care?" With that, Merlin turned the following corner and left the stunned knights behind. They shared a look before they joined the other knights for training. They both knew Merlin was anything but fine, he never had snapped at them before. They figured they would ask him again later, when he would hopefully be in a better mood.

* * *

He had finished his errant for Gaius and was back in Arthur's chambers. It took him all his might to keep standing up while Arthur listed his chores for the rest of the day. And with all his might he meant áll his might. Gaius would definitely slap him on the head for this, but if it wasn't for his magic he would've long passed out.

"Are you even paying attention?" Arthur's voice drew him out of his own thoughts and back into reality. "I'm moments away from what is probably the most important treaty of my reign and you aren't even paying the slightest attention to me. Just clean my room while I'm gone, I hope you can handle that.'

And then Merlin snapped. "You know what, yes I wasn't paying attention, you know how boring you can be sometimes. Maybe you have to grow some brains of yourself and learn how to keep your own room clean, because I'm only one person and I'm working for the biggest prat there is!" With that he pushed past Arthur and stormed out of the door.

"Merlin! Come back here, NOW!" but Merlin ignored the calls and ran away, nearly bumping into Sir Leon in the process.

Leon entered Arthur's chambers. "What was that all about?" He asked.

Arthur was seething. He was having the most horrible week ever and now Merlin didn't even support him. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone in public, but Merlin's opinion mattered to him. The boy was just being ridiculous right now. As if Arthur never did something on his own. However, it indeed seemed Merlin always was there when he did. He growled. Now he even doubted himself. Stupid Merlin. He had no right to talk to him that way.

"Sir Leon, I want you to find Merlin and bring him to the dungeons. When he is reasonable he can be let out."

"But your Highness…" Sir Leon started.

"No, Leon, just do as you're told. I don't want to lock you away too." Arthur didn't need Merlin now, he didn't need anyone. He could cope perfectly fine on his own.

* * *

Merlin watched over the battlement of the castle. He remembered when he and Arthur had stood here together. What had he been thinking? He had yelled at Arthur, at his prince… at his destiny. He hadn't known what came over him; he just couldn't handle it anymore. He would be glad if this whole treaty thing would be over. Maybe destiny could give him a break and he could live a few more relaxing weeks. He once again rubbed his sore eyes when he heard someone behind him. Great, now he had to act as if nothing was wrong with him again. However as he wanted to turn around to face the person, the person grabbed his arm.

"What…"

"Sorry Merlin, direct orders from the king. You have to cool down in the dungeons for some time." He heard Sir Leon say.

That was the final straw. All week he had worked without even the slightest rest. And what for... to get thrown in the dungeons by the man he gave his live for on a daily basis. The only thing that had kept him going was the fact he actually cared. He wanted to fulfil his destiny; he wanted to keep Arthur safe. But it seemed Arthur didn't even care the slightest bit about him. His magic stopped supporting him. His world started swaying; his vision was showing black spots and he saw two Leons before him. He couldn't hear what the Leons were saying as his heart was beating frantically in his chest and his blood was running in his ears. His legs started to buckle; he couldn't keep focused anymore. Before Leon knew what was happening Merlin fell unconscious in his arms.

What Leon saw made him panic... Merlin's face was deathly pale and the boy was motionless. For a moment Leon thought the boy was dead and it scared him more than he liked to admit. Carefully he laid the boy on the ground and checked his pulse. His heartbeat was way too fast and his head felt like the boy was burning up.

He had overheard Gwaine and Lancelot talking about the boy this morning during training, but now he knew they had been definitely right, there had been something wrong with the boy and it just had gotten worse. "Merlin, come on, I need you to wake up." Merlin's breaths were rapid and uneven and another look at the boy revealed he was even skinnier than normal; it seemed he hadn't been eating at all. He wasn't as close to Merlin as some of the other knights, but he should have noticed this.

Noticing he couldn't get any reaction from the boy he picked him up, once again he felt how light Merlin was. He had to get him to Gaius now. Frantically he almost ran down the stairs and through the corridors. He didn't notice the group of knights paling at the sight and hurrying after them. Leon burst into Gaius chambers, soon followed by Gwaine, Lancelot and Percival.

Gaius was just mixing the herbs Merlin had gathered that morning when Sir Leon burst into the room. At first Gaius got frustrated; couldn't he just work in peace for once? Then his eyes landed on his ward and instantly the frustration made place for worry.

"What happened?" He asked, while motioning Leon to lay Merlin down on the bed in the middle of the room.

"I don't know." Leon started. "One moment he was just standing there and the next he just fell down. Fortunately, I already held him, otherwise he would have fallen on the ground."

Gaius nodded and started searching through his potions. The group of knights awkwardly stood in the door opening, unsure what to do next. They all waited for Gaius' verdict.

"Is he going to be all right?" Gwaine asked, worry clearly present in his voice.

Gaius turned to the group off knights. "He seems to be utterly exhausted, severely dehydrated and also malnourished…" Tears glistened in his eyes.

"So, what does that mean?" Gwaine and the other knights dreaded the answer.

"I can't be sure yet. I've seen cases like this, but never this severe. I don't know how he could be working. He should have collapsed days ago…" Gaius turned back to the bed and put a wet cloth on his wards brow.

The knights stood motionless in the room. Lancelot was the first to speak. "He would never admit he needed a break. With the treaty and all going on. Arthur is stressed out and it's been clear the treaty is important. He would never leave Arthur in a time like this."

Gwaine growled. "He's too selfless for his own good. Why didn't we notice he needed a break. Hell, we're supposed to be knights, to protect people. We're his friends and we didn't see this coming. Look how skinny he looks. How did Arthur miss this of all people? He constantly is around him." Gwaine stormed out of the room.

"I better follow him, before he hurts anyone." Percival followed Gwaine and Leon immediately followed him.

Lancelot, the only knight left, approached Gaius and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Gaius, he used magic to keep going this long didn't he?"

Gaius looked up. "I'm afraid so. You were right, he wouldn't want to leave Arthur now. He must've ignored the signs and kept going at all costs. But I don't understand why he collapsed now. The treaty is this afternoon, with his magic he should've been able to hold out until then."

They sat in silence. Gaius seemed to forget Lancelot was even there and focused solely on Merlin. After a few minutes Lancelot left the chambers in search for the others.

"Oh my boy, what have you done? What happened to you?"

* * *

"Gwaine, wait up." Percival tried to catch up with Gwaine.

"Don't try to stop me, Percival. I'm not saying we're not to blame, on the contrary we should have noticed this, but Arthur more than anyone! He practically lives with Merlin."

Percival got hold of Gwaine and stopped him. Leon finally reached them too.

"I'm not trying to say he isn't to blame, but this week has been extremely important. Arthur has been under a lot of pressure." Leon tried to explain.

Gwaine suddenly turned around, growled and punched the wall.

"What the hell, Gwaine?" a voice suddenly sounded.

* * *

Arthur had been restless since the incident with Merlin. Truth was, he had been giving Merlin a lot of work and their usual banter hadn't been present this week. The treaty was just so important and everyone counted on him, he had to be serious. However, putting Merlin in the dungeon because he snapped at him had been a step to far. Merlin was always there for him and to be honest, he had neglected him this last week. And so he now was on his way to the dungeons. He wanted to apologize, but he wasn't sure how.

Why on earth had he sent the boy to the dungeon? Pride, a small voice whispered, he still hadn't quite learned to ignore his pride. Honestly he didn't know how to make amends with Merlin. Merlin was beyond loyal and the one time the boy snapped at him, Arthur immediately had sent him to the dungeon. He hated to admit it, but he had been a real jerk. He was growing a headache because of this internal battle with himself and that was not something he needed right before the treaty meeting.

He rounded another corner and saw some of his knights standing there. He was just about to say something, but then Gwaine suddenly turned around and punched the wall.

"What the hell, Gwaine?" Arthur shouted.

Leon turned and saw the King standing there. He grunted, great timing Arthur. Before he knew Gwaine had pushed him to the side and was running towards Arthur. Luckily Lancelot just rounded the corner too, quickly oversaw what was happening and got a hold of Gwaine just in time.

Arthur found himself confused for the second time that day. Did Gwaine just try to attack him?

"What is going on here?" He didn't have time for this. He needed to see Merlin and go to that treaty meeting. He was on the verge of telling Gwaine he would deal with him later and walk away, when Gwaine spoke up.

"What's going on?! You should know, you bastard. He could have died and you wouldn't even know!"

Arthur grew even more confused… and worried. Did someone die? Lancelot saw the obvious confusion and worry in his eyes and sighed.

"Okay, everybody to Arthurs chambers NOW." He said.

"Wait, Lancelot, I really don't have time for this now. I need to see… I need to go to that treaty meeting." He didn't want Gwaine to know he threw Merlin in the dungeon… OR Lancelot.

Gwaine was seething. "Make time."

And that's why they all quietly walked back to Arthurs chambers. Lancelot took care Gwaine was walking far away from Arthur and without further incidents they reached Arthurs chambers.

Arthur had been thinking and there was only one reason he knew Gwaine would attack him: Merlin. The knight must have found out he put Merlin in the dungeons. Sir Leon had been there so that must have been the reason Gwaine went all nuts on him. He just had to explain he had just been on his way to free Merlin and hopefully this whole drama could be put to rest until after the treaty meeting.

As soon as Percival had closed the door behind him, Arthur wanted to explain himself. However, Gwaine beat him to it as he finally got free from Lancelot's grip and punched Arthur in the face. Arthur fell back.

"Gwaine! Stop! It isn't all Arthurs fault; we should have seen it too." Lancelot pushed Gwaine back and Leon helped Arthur back on his feet.

Arthur didn't understand anything anymore and with his growing headache, the incident with Merlin and just the overall last week, he couldn't take this anymore.

"Can anyone PLEASE explain what the hell is happening here, because frankly I don't follow anymore! What should I have seen, what is my fault?" He exclaimed.

Gwaine, who was held back by Percival, was gritting his teeth. Percival decided to break the news to the King. "It's Merlin, he's…"

"If this is about me throwing him in the dungeons, I was just on my way to free…."

"You threw him in the dungeons!? Exclaimed Lancelot. Silently he wanted to punch his king in the face too. This had been the reason Merlin had given up, why he didn't let his magic help him anymore. He probably thought Arthur didn't want him around anymore and had just broken.

"You didn't know?" Arthur really wasn't following anymore.

"He just collapsed when I was talking to him." Leon explained. "We've taken him to Gaius, but Gaius doesn't know if he'll pull through, he was utterly exhausted, severely dehydrated and malnourished. Gaius was surprised he didn't collapse sooner, but…" Leon's voice trailed off, but Arthur could fill in the rest. But Merlin was too selfless and loyal for his own good and would put his own health on second place if Arthur needed him. Even though he hadn't said it out loud, Arthur knew Merlin could sense he had needed him. His face paled, utterly exhausted, severely dehydrated and malnourished. That sounded as something he should have noticed. For god's sake, he spend whole days with Merlin, he definitely should have noticed that.

Leon saw Arthur pale and slowly descend to the ground, he quickly led him to a chair. He knew Arthur highly respected Merlin, not that Arthur ever admitted it. Telling him this before the treaty meeting probably hadn't been their greatest plan for the kingdom.

Arthur's thought still whirled through his head and Arthur didn't like where they were going. Gaius had wondered why Merlin hadn't collapsed sooner and deep down Arthur knew the reason, but he didn't want it to be true. If his thoughts were true, not only hadn't he noticed how sick Merlin had been, he had pushed his friend over the edge. Gwaine was right, this was his fault. He let his head fall in his hands.

"I need to see him." He finally said.

"Like hell you are." Said Gwaine, who was a bit more calm, but not quite on the stage of forgiving. But Arthur had had enough, his friend, his best friend, was sick, partly because of him and he Needed. To. See. Him. Now.

"Don't pin this on me, Gwaine, you're to blame too. He's my friend and I need to see how he's doing." Arthur hissed.

"Nice friend you are, I'm quite sure this is the first time you openly call him your friend." Gwaine growled back.

"Gwaine. Stop." Lancelot tried to intervene.

Gwaine just glared one more time and ran out the chambers.

"Arthur, I'm sure he…" Leon started.

"Out."

"Arthur…"

"Get. Out. Now. All of you!" Arthur yelled.

They all glanced one more time and walked out of the room. Arthur sat in his chair. He never knew words could physically hurt, but Gwaine's did. Because they were right, he never called Merlin friend. He had assumed Merlin knew, but he never had had the courage to say it. What had he done? He had pushed him over the edge, hell; he had sent his best friend to the dungeons, just because he dared to speak up. Merlin had been exhausted and there he was rambling about more chores. Gwaine was right; he had no right to see Merlin now.

* * *

Gaius still pressed a wet cloth on Merlin's head.

"Merlin you have to keep fighting. I know you can overcome this, but I need you to fight."

He soaked the cloth again and pressed it to his ward's brow. But he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't treat Merlin as just one of his patients, because the boy was so much more to him.

"Oh my boy, what happened? Why didn't you let us help you, why didn't you tell me you didn't have time to gather my herbs? I could've asked someone else. Why did you stop fighting Merlin? Everyone is worried sick about you and I can't tell them you'll be all right, because you seem to get worse. Just come back to us boy, we'll get you a long vacation. We'll…"

Lancelot was about to check on Merlin and Gaius, but as he stood in front of the door he heard Gaius break down. He quietly entered the room and sat beside Gaius.

"Gaius…" And Lancelot told Gaius what happened. "But Gaius, you should have seen the look on Arthurs face, he regrets it with all his heart."

Gaius sighed. "I know he does, I just think Merlin doesn't know that at the moment and I can't get him to fight his sickness. Lancelot, I'm losing him and I can't do a thing about it. I'm a physician and I can't cure him."

"I know Gaius, I know." Lancelot sighed.

* * *

Merlin felt sick. He looked around him and found he couldn't see a thing. He panicked. Was there a magical attack on Camelot? He tried to reach for his magic, but panicked even more as he found he couldn't.

"Trying to commit treason again, sorcerer?" A familiar voice spoke and Merlin's blood grew ice cold.

"Arthur, what's happening? I don't…."

"That's King Arthur for you. You betrayed me."

"No, I never wanted to… You were my friend… I…"

"We were never friends, don't you dare call me that. I don't know what you think happened these last few years, but you were my servant. Nothing more. Everybody knows that."

Tears formed in Merlin's eyes.

"I never want to see you again, sorcerer. You can stay in this black hole forever and no one will come to save you because no one cares about you. Not Lancelot, not Gwaine, not Gaius and not me. We're glad you're gone. Goodbye Sorcerer."

The tears fell.

"No, Arthur…" but he was alone again. Merlin sat down and cried. He had never felt as useless as now. They didn't need him anymore.


	2. My Friend (part 2)

**Wow, thanks so much for following my story! It is great to see some of you**

**like it :) **

**Here's part 2 of the first story, next is a prompt from natcel, little peek: Merlin is about to get his leg broken...  
**

**I'm hoping for more prompts! Please give me your ideas, they'll make me extremely happy :D**

**Oh almost forgot: I do NOT own Merlin (and I won't ever sadly enough, so this goes for the whole story)**

* * *

Gwen was worried. She had been at the treaty meeting and Arthur hadn't been there. He had been restless about the meeting all week and it wasn't like him to just miss it. She had stalled the meeting and was currently searching for Arthur. When she opened the door to his chambers she was greeted with a sight she didn't expect to see. Arthur sat on the floor. His back against the side of his bed and his head in his hands. He seemed to be… sobbing. Gwen had never seen him like this.

"Arthur?"

But the King didn't even acknowledge her presence. What had happened? Gwen sat down beside him.

"Arthur, you missed the treaty meeting. What happened?"

Beside her, Arthur finally came back into reality. He missed the meeting, the most important meeting in his whole reign and yet it didn't even seem to matter anymore. Didn't all the stress for this meeting cause Merlin's problems? Oh, if he just hadn't focused so much on it, maybe he would have noticed something about Merlin.

"It's all my fault…"

Gwen wanted to understand, she really did, but she couldn't.

"Arthur what happened? Tell me, please. I've stalled the meeting until tomorrow, but why didn't you attend?" Gwen asked with worry present in her voice.

Arthur looked at her and… broke down. "It's Merlin, he… he collapsed. He's sick, seriously sick, he hasn't been eating, drinking or sleeping for almost a week, Gaius can't tell if he's going to make it and it's my fault. I did that to him and I didn't even notice. I just gave him more chores and made him feel like he couldn't take a break. And, worst of all, when he finally gave in to his condition and snapped, I still didn't notice and sent him to the dungeons. He just gave up fighting the illness and now I don't know if he's ever going to wake up again. I don't know if I ever can tell him he's my friend."

Gwen was shocked. Tears glistened in her eyes. Merlin was sick, Merlin collapsed, Merlin might die….and Arthur blamed himself.

"We need to see him, Arthur." She said. Hoping Gaius had found a cure by this time.

"I can't. I did that to him, he doesn't want me there."

"Arthur, you don't seriously believe that, do you? You have to be there, for Merlin, he's always at you side, now it's your turn to return that favour."

"But…""Arthur hesitated, but Gwen wouldn't hear of it.

"We are going. Now." She hauled him back on his feet and together they walked to Gaius' chambers.

* * *

In the meantime, Gaius and Lancelot still sat quietly beside Merlin. Lancelot saw with his own eyes what Gaius had meant. He only was here a short time and Merlin looked worse now than when he had come in. They tried talking to him, telling him Arthur needed him, that they needed him, but Merlin was unresponsive to everything.

Lancelot had hoped Arthur would come by, but knew that after Gwaine's outburst that wouldn't be likely to happen. Although he partly agreed with Gwaine, Merlin never got the recognition he deserved from Arthur, he still thought Gwaine had made a mistake. Arthur did see Merlin as a friend and now he would probably blame himself and avoid Gaius' chambers. He didn't want to leave Merlin, but he had to persuade Arthur to visit. Just as he was about to stand up, Merlin stirred. He and Gaius were on high alert immediately. Merlin was muttering something and Lancelot came closer to hear what the boy said. What he heard made his blood run cold.

"Arthur, what's happening? I don't…."

"No, I never wanted to… You were my friend… I…

"No, Arthur…"

Lancelot only heard one side of the conversation, but he didn't like what he heard. To make matters worse he saw tears falling out of Merlin's unconscious eyes.

"Merlin, whatever you're seeing or hearing, it's not real. You have to fight it, we're all here. We all want you back." But whatever Lancelot said, Merlin didn't notice him. He started curling up and the sobs became more frequent.

Gaius watched in fear. His boy, his surrogate son, was giving up. Not even Lancelot's word seemed to sink in. One split moment Gaius absolutely loathed Arthur, but the feeling soon subdued. The King was Merlin's friend and although he had crossed a line, he wasn't the one to blame for all of this. He didn't know how to help Merlin, but he knew someone who might.

"Lancelot, I need you to stay with Merlin, just try to keep him cool. I will be right back, but I have to do something. I have to ask someone for help."

Lancelot watched Gaius with fear and hope. Gaius wouldn't leave Merlin if it wasn't absolutely necessary, but Gaius was the best physician there was. What was he planning on doing? Who was he going to see? Someone with magic? He nodded, whatever it was, he would watch over his friend.

* * *

Gaius didn't know exactly where to go, but he had to try. So he stood in an opening in the forest and tried to communicate through his mind.

"Please, I need your help. Merlin needs your help. He is dying and I have no clue what to do about it."

Nothing even stirred and Gaius sighed, he had hoped with all his heart this would work, but deep down he had known he never could've summoned the Great Dragon.

"Stay where you are, I'm on my way." He suddenly heard. He couldn't believe it, the Dragon had heard him. A spark of hope lighted his mind. Not long after, the Dragon landed on the opening.

"I sensed his distress, but couldn't feel what was wrong. Tell me everything, Gaius."

Gaius still was impressed with the appearance of the Dragon, but he shook himself back to reality and he told the Dragon everything that happened. The story exhausted him and with eyes filled with hope he waited for a response. The Dragon sighed.

"The story you bring to my hearing is a grave one, old friend. The young warlock is sick, but that is not my main concern, he would be able to fight off the sickness. His spirit is broken; he thinks he no longer is wanted in this world, so why would he stay. The person he respects the most, his friend and destiny, has let him fall. I can't cure him Gaius, and neither can you. The only one who has a chance of saving him now is the young King and even that might not work. From what I hear, he is in a dark place and he has visions of things that never even happened. Even if the King comes through to him, he might reject his words or disbelieve them. I'm sorry, Gaius, I can't help any more than you can."

Gaius thought he saw grief in the Dragon's eyes, but before he could be sure the beast flew away. Leaving a grieving Gaius behind. The King hadn't even visited Merlin, let alone he would comfort him back into this world.

* * *

Lancelot switched the cloth for a new one. He still talked to Merlin, even though all the boy did was cry silent tears. When Gaius would return he would get Arthur, maybe he could get through to Merlin.

Suddenly the door opened and Lancelot watched, hoping it would be Gaius.

"Guinevere…" The queen entered with eyes full of worry.

"How is he, Lancelot?" she asked, but she could see how sick Merlin looked. She saw the tears glistening on his cheeks and immediately her own eyes became watery.

"Nothing changed, if anything he's becoming worse." Lancelot whispered.

Gwen took a seat beside him and grabbed Merlin's hand.

"Merlin, you have to become better, we… I need you here." She silently said, but she didn't get a response. Her tears fell and Lancelot tried to comfort her.

"He'll get better, Gwen, you know how stubborn he can be. He couldn't leave Arthur even if he wanted to." He didn't believe his own words; Merlin was leaving Arthur, because he felt Arthur had left him.

The door opened again and Lancelot looked back.

"Gaius… any luck?" he asked hopefully.

"No." One word, the tone Gaius uttered it spoke more than thousand words. Merlin was on his own, no one could help him.

"The only one who has a small chance to get him back now is Arthur." Lancelot looked up; he hadn't expected Gaius to speak up again.

"Then we've got to make him come over here, make him talk to Merlin…" He started to stand up, but Gwen stopped him, new tears glistened in her eyes.

"I tried, he's blaming himself. He can't even bring himself to go here. He's afraid it will do Merlin no good, he knows he's the reason Merlin has stopped fighting and he doesn't want to hurt him more."

"But Merlin needs him here! He can't just hide away in his chambers, without him Merlin will…" Die, but he couldn't utter that word, not yet.

The door flew open.

"So, Arthur is the one that can save Merlin. He's the only one?" Gwaine asked. Lancelot glanced to Gaius, if they told Gwaine he would personally drag Arthur to this chamber. Unfortunately, Gwen spoke up.

"It seems that way. He has to repair his damage." She said softly. Before Lancelot could utter another word, Gwaine had stormed out of the room.

* * *

"Gwaine! Wait!" Lancelot jumped from his spot and ran after the knight. Gwaine ran to the chambers of Arthur and stormed inside. Lancelot just made it in time to see him pushing Arthur from his chair and jumped between the two.

"Gwaine, stop it!"

"I won't stop it, he has to go and save Merlin NOW. Merlin is giving up because of him and he is the only one to bring him back to us." Gwaine yelled, then he eyed Arthur. "If you don't go to him now and save him, I will never want to see you face again. I will leave this godforsaken city and never ever return. But not after I've seriously injured a certain King."

"I thought you didn't want me near Merlin and now you're forcing me to go see him." Arthur yelled back.

"Shut up! Both of you!" Lancelot interfered. "Sit down and listen. Arthur, Merlin is giving up, he can beat the sickness, but he seems to not even want that. You can't even comprehend the respect he feels for you and you disposed of him the minute you didn't like what he told you. He always had faith in you, no matter what and now you crushed that believe. Not on purpose, I know that. I know you see him as a friend, but right now Merlin doesn't know that and he's giving up everything. You're the only one who has a chance to bring him back and even that change is slim. He has had some kind of nightmare, where you turned him down and since then he's getting worse by the minute. He might not even want to hear what you've got to say to him, but it's the only chance we have of getting him back."

Lancelot had seen Arthur's face grow paler during his little speech, he saw the massive guilt build up in his eyes and the fear of losing his friend, but right now he didn't care. He couldn't, he had to do one thing at a time and right now his focus lay with Merlin.

Luckily, Arthur focus was back on Merlin too. After he heard about how Merlin was doing he felt massively guilty, but Lancelot was right. Right now he had to try and get Merlin back and that was the only thing that mattered. So he almost ran out of his room towards Gaius' chambers, closely followed by both Lancelot and Gwaine. He stopped just in front of the door. He highly doubted himself, but one look from Gwaine and he remembered why he had to go through with this. Merlin was his friend and he wanted him to know that. And with that thought in mind, he opened the door.

* * *

Gaius heard the door opening, but didn't really watch who came in. His focus was on his ward before him. Then he felt Gwen's hand on his arm and he watched up to see Arthur. The King stood awkwardly before him and Gaius could see he expected him to be mad for what he had done to Merlin. In a way Gaius was mad, but right now he was relieved the King had come to visit Merlin. He gave Arthur a short nod and followed the knights and Gwen outside. This was something Arthur had to do on his own and Gaius prayed it would turn out right for Merlin.

Arthur stood on his own in Gaius' chambers, he felt uncomfortable, but he pushed that thought to the side and sat down beside Merlin. He looked at him and immediately understood everyone's worry. You couldn't even describe how ill Merlin looked and on top of that he looked sad. Arthur could see the dried tears on his cheeks and he knew he had been the cause of them. He inhaled deeply.

"Merlin, I…" But as soon as he spoke the boy started to struggle with his sheets.

"I'm sorry Arthur, I never wanted to betray you, I wanted to protect you." Arthur's heart nearly broke at the words Merlin muttered out between sobs.

"Merlin, you didn't betray me, if anything, I betrayed you." Merlin still kept muttering apologies and Arthur grabbed his hand.

"Merlin, please listen to me, I never wanted this to happen. We… I should have seen you were sick, but I didn't and I've never felt so guilty in my entire life." But the words didn't seem to be registered by Merlin as the boy started to shake badly and sob harder. Arthur tried to hold him still and his eyes became watery as he found out he couldn't. The tighter he would grab Merlin's arms the more he started to shake.

"Merlin, Please fight this, I'm not going to hurt you, you have to come back and I promise you nothing bad will happen to you again, I'm going to protect you, Merlin. I never should have ordered you to be taken to the dungeons and I'm sorry. I… I know I've never said this out loud, but you're my friend Merlin, I mean it, you're the only one who keeps me down to earth, who doesn't treat me like a King and I need that. I need a normal friend, someone who isn't pretending to like me, just because I'm King."

Arthur didn't even notice how Merlin's struggles weakened. "I'm so sorry Merlin and I can't lose you, I would never forgive myself for pushing you over the edge. We all need you around, but I need you more than anyone, without you I would've never come this far. You're my friend Merlin and my dearest advisor, I would trust you with my life and now it seems it is my fault your life is miserable. I'm so sorry, Merlin, please come back so I can make it up to you."

Merlin didn't struggle anymore and Arthur breathed heavenly. He didn't know what to say anymore. If only he had said this earlier, Merlin wouldn't be in this mess if he had. He said beside his friend for more than an hour, but he didn't notice any change. He liked to think Merlin looked more peaceful, but he knew that was just wishful thinking. When Gaius came back, Arthur left without a word. He retreated himself to his chambers and didn't let anyone in. Not even Gwen knew how he was doing.

* * *

"Merlin, I…" Merlin looked up, he heard Arthur, but he didn't see him, he still only saw the black surrounding him.

"I'm sorry Arthur, I never wanted to betray you, I wanted to protect you." He quickly said. He didn't hear anything. His mind was playing tricks on him now.

"Merlin, you didn't betray me, if anything, I betrayed you." Merlin was confused; this must be some kind of trap.

"I'm sorry Arthur, I really am."

"Merlin, please listen to me, I never wanted this to happen. We… I should have seen you were sick, but I didn't and I've never felt so guilty in my entire life." Sick? He wasn't sick, he was going crazy. This Arthur wasn't real he frantically started to look around him, he began to ran through the space, but he didn't see anything. He cried, why didn't he know what was happening to him. It felt like someone was grabbing him and he panicked, he tried to release himself, but he couldn't.

"…but you're my friend Merlin, I mean it..." Merlin stopped struggling. Had Arthur just called him friend? This had to be some game, Arthur had just told him he never wanted to see him again and now he was calling him friend. Something was going on here and he had to find out what. Which Arthur was real? He surely hoped the second, but why couldn't he see him? Merlin started to focus on getting out of the place he was in. He had to find out what was really happening around him.

* * *

It wasn't obvious, but Gaius began to see small signs Merlin was growing stronger. At first he told himself he was seeing things. Imagining things to make him feel better, but he wasn't the only one who noticed. Slowly it became clear Merlin was fighting again and though it went at a slow place, he improved day by day. Gwen tried to persuade Arthur to get out of his chambers and see for himself, but he still wouldn't show himself. He thought Gwen only wanted to make him feel better.

It had been 4 days since the whole incident had happened and Gaius was preparing a new potion to give to Merlin, after all, he still had to get some nutrients inside of the boy to fight of the malnourishing. With the potion in his hand he walked towards the bed. He looked at his ward and found himself staring into a pair of blue eyes.

"Merlin! You're awake!" He put the potion down and immediately sat beside the bed. Merlin's eyes seemed unfocused, but they were definitely open. Slowly they shut again, but Gaius was thrilled, Merlin had opened his eyes once and he was sure it would happen again. He slowly started to feed him the potion he prepared.

"Just keep fighting, my boy, you're getting there."

* * *

Merlin's black hole was getting brighter and suddenly he found himself somewhere else. He slowly looked around, his head felt like lead. He knew these chambers. He tried to focus and could make out three figures before him. He recognized them. Would his nightmare finally stop? Or were they here to take him to the dungeons and lock him up.

"…" He tried to say something but couldn't find his voice, why was he feeling so tired?

"Don't try to speak, Merlin. It will take a bit of time before you can do that again." Gaius said.

So they had come to take him away. They had probably knocked him out or something and… he started to shake, he couldn't believe this was happening.

"Easy Merlin. You're going to be all right. We'll make sure of that. Just stay calm and focus on getting better." Gwaine said.

Merlin didn't understand. They didn't want to hurt him and take him away? If only he could remember how he had gotten here. He had to know.

"Wh... ppened?" He choked out. He immediately felt immensely tired.

"Take it slow; you don't want to hurt yourself anymore. You collapsed. You had worked yourself to the ground, Merlin, and on top of that you didn't eat, drink or sleep enough. You're lucky for pulling through. Don't try such a stunt again." Lancelot explained briefly.

Merlin searched his mind. Had he really done that?

"Drink this." Gaius slowly helped Merlin to drink a new potion. Slowly afterwards he fell in a deep dreamless sleep.

* * *

Lancelot couldn't believe it, Merlin had been awake. He had even tried to speak. To say he was thrilled was an understatement; barely 5 days ago he had been on the verge of dying! Now Merlin wasn't as bad as he had been, Lancelot took notice of another problem. The King. No one had seen him since he had talked to Merlin, but why would the King lock himself up, if the talk had been so effective? He was pulled out of his thoughts by a groan. Merlin was waking up again. Gwaine had gone to inform the rest of the knights and Gwen about Merlin, so maybe now he could give Merlin some more answers.

"My head is killing me." The fragile looking boy said.

"I think your head will be hurting some more the next days, but we're all glad it isn't actually killing you anymore. You gave us quite a scare, Merlin. Why didn't you tell us something was wrong?" Lancelot asked as Gaius just looked at Merlin.

"I'm still not sure what happened." Merlin whispered.

"What do you remember?" Gaius asked.

"I'm not sure… there was something important going on and I had to be there, but Arthur send me away? I don't know exactly… Then I found myself in this dark room, I couldn't even see the walls… Arthur was there, he…" Merlin fell quiet and grew pale. "Oh god, he knows! He knows I have magic!"

"Merlin, calm down, Arthur does not know about your secret, continue your story, what do you remember?" Gaius pushed. Merlin looked confused.

"I was alone again in the room, but then Arthur came back. This time I couldn't see him, I only heard him…" Merlin grew even more confused as he remembered more. "He… He was saying sorry to me, I don't know what for though? I wanted out of the room and the next thing I know I'm here talking to you… What did happen?" Merlin looked hopeful to Lancelot and Gaius, maybe they could explain what really happened.

"There was an important treaty meeting, you worked way too hard and didn't sleep, eat or drink enough, Merlin." Lancelot started. "At one point you even began using magic to keep you on your feet."

Merlin began to remember.

"You and Arthur had a falling out, nothing too serious, you just were agitated. Arthur didn't think before he did and he made Leon take you to the dungeons to calm down, but you just collapsed. It was as if your magic just had stopped working." Lancelot looked at Merlin, but he avoided his glance. Merlin remembered. Arthur hadn't wanted him anymore and he had fallen down.

Lancelot, afraid he was losing Merlin again, hurried on. "You were brought to Gaius and he tried his best to fix you up, we all were worried about you Merlin. Gwaine even attacked Arthur when he found out what he did. Arthur really regretted what he'd done, Merlin. He came to visit you and apologized. That's the voice you were hearing. The Arthur you saw was a hallucination."

Merlin smiled slightly, but somewhere there still lingered a bit of mistrust towards the King.

"It took some time, but after Arthur had talked to you, you seemed to get better and now you're here."

Merlin had grown tired again. "Thanks for explaining, Lancelot and thank Gwaine for me, I wish I could have seen it…" Slowly his eyes closed again and soon he was vast asleep.

Lancelot gave Gaius a worried glare. "He doesn't trust Arthur anymore, does he?"

Gaius looked at the sleeping Merlin. "I think therefore he has to talk to Arthur again. It's something they have to figure out, we can't do anything about it, but Arthur's apology brought him back to this world and that's in my eyes a good sign.

* * *

Arthur was agitated and that was the light way of putting it. The whole day people had been urging him to come out of his room. First Gwen, than Leon, Lancelot, even Gwaine had tried. Why couldn't they just let him be? He didn't need them to look at him with absolute disgust and he certainly didn't need another punch in the face from Gwaine. He hated himself more than enough, thank you very much. And with that thought he fell back on his bed. All he could think the last few days about had been Merlin and how he had pushed him away. Even his voice scared the boy, how could he ever forgive himself again.

Knock, knock.

Arthur looked up and sighed, he really began to get frustrated right now. He could guess who it was, probably Gwen, the knocks would have been a bit louder if it was one of his knights.

Knock, knock.

Strange, this time the knocks were even more quiet. Anyway, he wasn't in the mood to see someone now.

Knock, knock.

"_Get out!_" Arthur yelled. He had had enough, he would show the person in front of that door he didn't want to be disturbed and hopefully no one would come to his chambers for a while. Angrily he walked towards the door.

"_I don't want you here, I can cope perfectly fine on my own and I'm not coming out of my chambers!_" He screamed out, then he opened his door and saw the person who stood before him… His face paled, not good Arthur, you really are a prat.

* * *

It took some time, but Merlin was fully awake now. He still felt weak, but he wasn't as tired anymore. Gaius even had left him alone for some time now. Merlin sighed, how much he loved the man, but he wasn't three anymore. He could be alone for an hour or so. Then his thoughts lingered back to Arthur. He heard the story from Lancelot and he remembered most of it himself, but why had Arthur locked himself away? And then there was that little voice inside of him that told him Arthur hated him. And that hurt. There was only one way to get peace of mind and that was to talk to Arthur.

Merlin sneaked out of his room, he was lucky he was trained to be quiet, because ever since the knights found out he was awake, there had been one of them lingering at Gaius chambers. Slowly he made his way over to Arthur's chambers. However, when he stood before the doors he grew unsure, had this been a good idea? He knocked twice, soft, as if he didn't want Arthur to notice. When he got no response he tried again. Still no answer, maybe he should just leave, but something told him not to. He knocked again.

"_Get out!_" He heard Arthur yell, maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. Arthur wasn't in a particular good mood, but he couldn't turn back now, he already heard Arthur walk towards the door. He grew afraid, it felt strange, he never had been afraid of Arthur, but his body seemed to scream to run away.

"_I don't want you here, I can cope perfectly fine on my own and I'm not coming out of my chambers!_"

Okay, maybe his body was right, Arthur definitely terrified him right now. He just wanted to turn around and run away as the door opened. One second he stared into Arthur's eyes, which were filled by anger. That was all it took for him to run away. Arthur did hate him, his feeling had been right and he had to get out of here right now.

"Merlin wait!" Arthur yelled, but Merlin didn't stop, Lancelot had been wrong, Arthur did not regret anything he had done to him and if he stopped, Arthur would probably hurt him even more. He looked up and saw he had arrived at the battlements again, this was wrong, he didn't want to be here, there was only one way out and he already heard Arthur running up the stairs. Merlin staggered forwards, he had to find a place to hide and he had to find it quick.

* * *

Arthur inwardly cursed himself, he had meant to scare the person who was disturbing him and he definitely did that, great work King, you've scared Merlin even more. Why had he even been here, he surely would've heard if Merlin had become better. Then he remembered Gwaine telling him… he just hadn't believed him.

"Merlin wait!" He wanted to stop the boy, but all he accomplished was for Merlin to start running even faster. Without a second thought he sprinted after him, he had to apologize to Merlin, again. Gwaine had been right, what kind of friend was he if he constantly scared Merlin to death. He found himself at the battlements, Merlin had to be here, there was only one way out and that was the door he was currently closing.

"Merlin?" He tried to sound as calm as possible, but nothing stirred. Great, Merlin was so terrified he hid from him.

"Merlin, please, I didn't mean to scare you, I didn't think it was you who knocked on my door." Still nothing.

Arthur doubted what to do next, Merlin clearly didn't want to be found, but if he left chances were he never got on the right foot with Merlin again. Suddenly he heard a sob, it was soft and clearly held back, but now he knew where Merlin was. The boy was so afraid, he had hid and he was crying. Would it really be for the best to confront him now?

* * *

Merlin held his breath, what if Arthur had heard that. He was still shaking and scared, but somewhere there grew a feeling Arthur wasn't as bad as he thought. Could he be sincere? Could he really care? But Merlin still doubted him.

"Merlin, I'm really sorry what happened. I should've noticed you weren't feeling well and I didn't. I know you're always there for me and I took you for granted, but I truly see you as… as my friend, Merlin. I know I don't act the part, but I definitely appreciate you being there with me."

Merlin's curiosity won it from his fear and he slowly stood up. Arthur watched him closely and Merlin could tell he had known where he had been hiding. Yet he didn't come any closer. Merlin looked at him and saw the guilt written on his face. Lancelot had been right after all, Arthur didn't hate him. Slowly he walked towards him. Then Arthur moved, a hot of fear crept up, but he kept walking towards him and suddenly he found himself in a hug. That was the final straw and he broke down. Arthur really did care and he had doubted him.

"I'm sorry, Arthur, I'm so sorry." He choked out between sobs.

* * *

Arthur held Merlin close to him, he finally had gotten his friend back and he wasn't going to let him down again. Then he heard Merlin apologize and once again his heart broke. He pushed Merlin away from him to look him in the eyes.

"Don't. Apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for, I've been a prat and because of that we nearly lost you. Don't you dare apologize, because if anyone is innocent in this whole matter it is you. I'm sorry I pushed you away and I'm sorry I terrified you, that's my fault, not yours. Definitely not yours. Understood?"

As Merlin nodded, he hugged him again. Never would he hurt his friend again, he would make sure of that.

* * *

Gaius was worried, where was Merlin? He wasn't healed fully yet and still he managed to sneak off. He was about to ask Lancelot if he knew where Merlin was, as his door opened.

Merlin came in, followed by Arthur and they both smiled. Merlin's red rimmed eyes told him something happened between the tow, but the smile that was present in his eyes told him it had worked out just fine. Gaius smiled, maybe this whole incident had brought the two even closer, after all, Arthur now knew how precious friends could be.

* * *

**The end**

**Next up: a prompt given to me by Natcel (Thanks so much for your review and prompt!)**

**Reviews are massively appreciated!**


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